“There’s something uniquely awful about bad theater, isn’t there? I mean, within ten seconds you know how terrible it’s going to be. All it takes is that one inane line, that one affected, self-conscious gesture, and you know. You know that it’s a stupid play, or horribly acted, or both, and you think to yourself: “Shit! For what eternity am I going to have to sit here?”

I mean, if it’s a bad book, you put it down. A bad tv show, you turn it off. But theater, the holy theater…Jesus Christ, it’s torture.”